A Blast From the Ancient Past
by Smenzer
Summary: Harry and Voldemort are having a fight when a blonde woman wonders into the midst of the battle leading a horse. Who is she? Comedy. Crossover with Xena: Warrior Princess. For my Xena fans this is ARESGABRIELLE


Title: A Blast From the Ancient Past

Author: Smenzer

Email: PG

Pairing: Ares/Gabrielle

Archive: Yes, please archive. If you want to add this story to a website, please let me know.

Teaser: Harry and Voldemort are having a fight when a blonde woman wonders into the midst of the battle leading a horse. Who is she? Comedy. Crossover with Xena: Warrior Princess.

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to Warner Bros, Scholastic, Bloomsbury, Heyday/1498 films, JK Rowling and Raincoat books. This is just for fun. No money is being made. Gabrielle belongs to Renaissance Pictures, Studios USA and Universal.

Harry Potter bravely stood facing Voldemort and his numerous Death Eaters. The young wizard had his wand out and pointing at his enemy and the horrible man who had murdered his parents. His friends were with him and at the moment Harry was more concerned for their safety than his own. He would never forgive himself if Ron and Hermoine were killed and he somehow survived. He already had too many deaths on his conscious; they weighed him down like heavy boulders tied around his neck. A large empty space that mainly consisted of grass stood between the two groups. Up above, the sky was gray with clouds and the threat of rain. To the young wizard, it almost seemed the gods themselves dreaded what was about to happen. Harry's arm tensed and his nerves jumped, sure that at any moment Voldemort would send Avada Kedavra his way.

An unexpected sound reached his ears. His mind raced as he tried to identify it. With a shock he realized it sounded like a horse. Was there a farm nearby?

A blonde woman with smooth hair just past her shoulders walked into the middle of the two groups leading a horse. Her outfit consisted of a small green sleeveless top, a short brown skirt and knee-high brown boots. The outfit left her stomach bare. In her free hand she carried a long wooden staff that she apparently used as a walking stick.

"That's just great!" Harry moaned to Ron and Hermoine. "A Muggle wondered into the middle of the battle!"

Voldemort stared at the Muggle woman in the odd clothes. "Who are you?"

Voldemort's appearance or the fact that all of his Death Eaters wore hooded black robes didn't seem to bother the woman any. "I'm Gabrielle. I'm looking for my friend. You didn't happen to see her, did you?"

"No." Voldemort replied, annoyed. "Now go away!"

But Gabrielle loved to talk to people and now that she found someone to talk to she had no intentions of leaving so soon. She moved a bit closer to the evil dark wizard. "What are you doing? Are you playing some sort of game? Can I play? I think I have a black cloak in my saddlebag…"

"No, we're not playing a game!" Voldemort replied angrily, his wand now pointing at the annoying woman who was now blocking his view of Potter and his friends. "We're conducting business!"

But the woman ignored him and started to search through the saddlebags on the horse. Within moments she pulled out a long black hooded cloak. Gabrielle shook it out, smiling. "Isn't it beautiful? Ares gave it to me. It used to be his, you know."

Lucius Malfoy exchanged confused glances with the other Death Eaters. He watched as the Muggle woman ran her hand over the black fabric, a happy expression on her face. Sighing, he stepped forward. "Excuse me, but I suggest you clear the premises."

Gabrielle blinked in confusion. "Clear the what?"

"The premises, that means leave the area." Lucius clarified.

"Oh, a new word!" Gabrielle hurried back to the saddlebag and started to dig a second time. Dozens of scrolls tumbled to the ground. Picking one up, she gathered her inkbottle and quill. Hurrying back to the startled Death Eater, she unrolled her parchment and looked up expectantly. "How do you spell that?"

"P-R-E-M…" Lucius started to say.

Voldemort shot him an angry look and the Death Eater wisely shut up. Shifting his murderous gaze to the blonde woman, Voldemort glared at her. "Look, Muggle. Since you refuse to leave you'll be the first to die. I hate Muggles and will be a delight to kill you, for I am Lord Voldemort! Doesn't my name send terror into your heart?"

"No, I never heard of you…" Gabrielle admitted perfectly calm. "What's a Muggle?"

"A non magic person." Voldemort explained, his wand still pointing at her. He stared into her eyes but to his dismay so no fear. It wouldn't be fun killing her if she didn't fear him. "You see this stick? It's my wand and magic comes out of it. When I say the magic words, you'll die! Doesn't that frighten you?"

Gabrielle rolled her eyes and shoved a finger into Voldemort's chest. "Now you listen! It's not nice to go around threatening woman! And no, it doesn't scare me. Why should it? I get death threats every day! It's NORMAL! There's always some warlords or some three-headed monster or some power-hungry fool with delusions of grandeur and don't get me started on the gods! Let's see, there was Zeus and Athena and Discord…"

"I'm the boss around here!" Voldemort cried angrily. "No Muggle is going to get away with poking me and certainly not a woman! And why the heck are you talking about gods? Did you escape from St. Mungo's?"

'I didn't escape from anywhere!" Gabrielle said sternly as she tightly gripped her wooden staff. "And for your information I've already been dead!"

"What?" Voldemort cried, shocked.

"Yes I have!" Gabrielle continued, her voice angry. "Caesar crucified me years ago!"

Voldemort's shocked expression changed to one of anger. "You're lying! What do you take me for, a fool? Caesar lived thousands of years ago!"

"Yes, so?" Gabrielle stared at him. "What has that got to do with anything?"

The Death Eaters exchanged nervous glances with each other. Even Lucius looked nervous. It was clear this was no ordinary Muggle woman as they had previously thought. Either she was crazy or there was something extremely weird going on here. "Master…"

"You stay out of this!" Voldemort ordered Lucius. "Can't you see I'm having an argument here?"

Across the clearing, Harry, Ron and Hermoine listened to the exchange with growing confusion. The three teens still had their wands at the ready. Harry had been ready to go protect the blonde Muggle but it seemed she had a bit of experience with villains before. He spared a second long glance at his two best friends. "Who do you think she really is?"

"I haven't the slightest idea…" Ron admitted.

"Why is she talking of the Greek pantheon?" Hermoine asked. "And look at her clothes. They look so old-fashioned! Why, you can see the stitches! The bottom of the skirt is slightly ragged and the boots! Why, they close up the sides with those black laces you hook over those silver bits. And they don't appear to have any real soles on the bottom, just a bit of leather. It all looks hand made!"

Ron grimaced and rolled his eyes. "Girls and clothes!"

"And what was that bit about warlords and three-headed monsters?" Harry asked.

The three teens shrugged and went back to listening to the unexpected exchange.

"Are you one of them crazies that say they lived a different life thousands of years ago?" Voldemort asked. "Or are you saying you've been alive all those centuries?"

"I'm not crazy!" Gabrielle insisted. "And I didn't live a different life because I've been me all this time!"

Voldemort grinned. "So you have a Sorcerer's Stone then. Give it to me!"

Gabrielle stared at him a moment. "There are lots of stones on the ground. Why don't you get your own? Are you too lazy to pick one up?"

Voldemort's face turned beet red with anger. "NO! Not a normal stone! The magic stone that has kept you alive all those centuries! What kind of idiot are you?"

"But I don't have a stone…" Gabrielle admitted, honesty clear on her face. "You're a very odd person. Do you know that?"

"AAAHHHHHH!" Voldemort screamed with frustration. Now that he knew the stupid woman had some source of immortality, he couldn't kill her until she revealed what and where it was hidden! The hand that held his wand shook and quivered so hard that one would have sworn there was an earthquake going on. Taking deep breaths, he forced himself to calm down. "If you don't have a Stone, how do you remain alive all those centuries?"

"Why, the gods of course…" Gabrielle replied. She shook her head. "You warlord types are always so dense. May I ask you something?"

"You seem to be constantly blabbing anyway!" Voldemort complained. "You haven't shut up since the moment you arrived!"

"Are you going to hurt those children?"

"No," Voldemort replied, menace dripping from his voice. "I'm going to kill them!"

"Well, I can't allow you to do that." Gabrielle said as she pulled a round metal object off her belt.

Voldemort laughed. It was not a pretty sound but sent chills down the back of his Death Eaters and the three teens shivered. Gabrielle, on the other hand, didn't appear to be affected. Voldemort watched her as she held the puny metal circle in her hand. The thing had a large round hole in the center and the blonde woman used this to grip it. All in all, it looked very much like a Muggle Frisbee. "And I suppose you're going to stop me? What are you going to do? Hit me with your stick? I'm a wizard! Can't you understand that? It's hopeless!"

Gabrielle paid him no heed but held the silver and gold-colored metal Frisbee. With a flick of her wrist she threw it.

Voldemort laughed even harder when the Frisbee flew in the wrong direction and bounced off a distant tree. "How like a woman! I'm right in front of you and you miss me!"

Lucius, on the other hand, followed the Frisbee's progress with his eyes. After it bounced off a tree it hit a large rock. From there in hit a second rock and now it was zooming right for the back of Voldemort's head. "Master …!"

The chakrom hit Voldemort in the head, knocking him off his feet and he fell to the grass unconscious. There was a big bloody area on the back of his head. The chakrom continued to fly through the air and Gabrielle caught it easily. She stared at the rest of the Death Eaters. "I strongly suggest you stop this foolishness unless you, too, want to share his fate. He's going to Tartarus. It's where he was supposed to be for the last several years. I assure you it's not a pleasant place."

Nervously Harry stepped forward. He still couldn't believe that the woman had knocked Voldemort out with a circular thing. It was unbelievable! "Why did you help me for? Who are you and where did you come from?"

"I like to help people." Gabrielle replied. "It's what me and Xena did for years. We traveled the world helping people and slaying monsters. But then she died in Chin and the gods couldn't bring her spirit back. I didn't want to travel by myself. I had the skills of a warrior; I even had Xena's sword and chakrom, but I had no real interest in being a warrior. I'm really a bard. Then one day Ares popped in and we started talking. To make a long story short I married Ares and he made me a Goddess. So now I'm the Goddess of Peace."

They all gaped at her open-mouthed.

"You're a … Goddess?" Harry finally asked.

Gabrielle nodded.

There was a flash of bluish-white light and a tall man in black leather appeared. He had wavy black hair, a black mustache and beard and a silver earring in one ear. The earring was shaped like a sword and it sparkled as he walked. His fine black leather clothes were studded with silver and an ornate belt circled his slim hips. A second belt held an enormous sword at his waist. Elaborate black and silver gauntlets circled both wrists, the work of Hephaestus himself. The man's dark eyes fell upon Gabrielle and they sparkled with love. Then the sparkle faded as he glared at the Death Eaters. "This war was not sanctioned! Unless you want to feel the wrath of the War God, I suggest you stop this bickering."

"This is my husband, Ares." Gabrielle explained.

Ares shook his hand and a white ball of light appeared. He threw the ball of light at Voldemort and the evil wizard vanished. "There! That should keep dear old Uncle Hades busy. Hephaestus even forged a new set of chains…"

Everyone but Gabrielle gawked at the War God.

Ares held open his arms and Gabrielle went up to him. He wrapped his arms around her, his chin resting on the top of her head. A moment later they vanished in another flash of bluish-white light. The horse, Argo, vanished as well.

Harry stared at the Death Eaters and they stared back at the three teens. Lucius was the first to remove the black hooded cloak and toss it onto the ground. Soon the other Death Eaters followed suite. With Voldemort gone there was no reason to carry on the war. In fact, they had been ordered to stop it. Who were they to argue with a god?

Truthfully, they were all in a mild state of shock. The very foundations of their world had been rattled. It wasn't every day that you discovered gods actually existed. Not to mention Tartarus…

"Harry," Lucius said as he slowly approached the teenager. "What do you say that we start over? Perhaps I've been wrong in many of my ideals and I'd like to have a fresh start. You are wise beyond your years and there's much you can teach me, although it may not be easy. I've had thoughts pounded into my head since I was a young boy. I'd like to change now that I've seen the truth of our world, but I can't do it by myself."

"All right." Harry agreed more quickly than he normally would have. With Voldemort gone its like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he felt free for the first time in his life. Or perhaps there was a lingering quality of peace hanging in the air that was affecting the people in the area. Harry reached out and gripped Lucius' hand. The two shook and peace reigned in the wizarding world.

The End


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